Getting more and more misty day by day

First and formost, i thanked all for the concerns, encouragements and consoles that you all have gave me for the past one week, really appreciated that alot. Thank you.

But afterall, i'm still afraid to lose this bonding that has such a great impact on me. Many times, i can't help but to send out all the funny and ridiculous messages out. I don't hope for a reply at all, but just an understanding, that little bit of understanding; understand that i can't, don't want and never want to lose such bonding. I know i'm getting a little ridiculous or should i say irrational already. Parting off, it seems that spelling out the words is easier than doing out the action. But, i think this is me, perhaps, the emotionally unstable guy that really treasure the friends given to him in life, and of course, the brothers and buddies he made till now, he can remember all the brothers he has, deeply in his heart. Time is still the crucial factors that i'm so afraid and hate. If you understand what i mean.

At times, he really hopes that time will just stop at that moment in life, let everything be at its most ideal and revealing moment, let the bondings be at its strongest moment and let all he wished and prayed come true. Why can't life just stop at some moments? Like 12 Mar 2004, 27 Dec 2004, 27 Dec 2005 and 24 Feb 2006.

The pace of life is, at times, killing him slowly and quietly. Destroying the innoccent thinking and ideal times he once thought of, grabbing away many of his good times and yet still persisting to do that, and what's worst, dissolving his power to believe and praying for miracles. At times, he lost the skill to sense by heart and forced to do things by logics, where it is true that most logics are developed from history.

Lost!

At times, he felt like thrashing out all his thoughts but life seems to stop him from doing that. He has to press on for the sake of better future, where he has completely no ideas of what is being so called the better future.

At times, he felt like going around to thank people for all the things they have done to brigthen up his life. But words seems to fall short and aren't able to come out from the mouth. All he could do was to sent out the cards (ken knows) and the simple sms of thanks. It is a simple text, but holding many many gratitudes and deepest appreciation from his heart..

Life? Hahaz...