So it is a long long way to go

After the 2 hectics and tiring weeks,i'm pondering over the decision made earlier. So the news about me taking 7 modules this semster, has actually (without fail), became the talk of the town. I have been approached by some good friends and buddies of mine, some showing deep concern about my ability to coop with the busy schedule that i would have, bear in mind that i still have 3 committments outside, on the other hand,there is a small group of friends sneering at my idea of taking 7 modules. Well, i'm not here to say that i'm capable nor to comment that i'm clever, because the actual fact is i'm neither.

The decision of trying out this attempt might be hasty, but, without regrets. Yes, i do agree that by doing so, i would be more stressful and busy. Yup, i know. I'm not seeking for common concensus within the crowds, neither i ask for permission to do that, what i hope is that there is a moral support given to me, encouragement and some breathing space of my own.

The words may be what you feel, the mouth might belongs to you in any way, but, in any reasons, it should not be used on me in any point in time. You might think that i'm trying to be a smart alec, you may also think that i'm trying to do something out of stupidity here, so be it, i'm not here to do any explanation, neither am i here to seek your permission or agreement. If you understand me and the trust instilled is still there,give some breathing space, give me some time to settle all the mess that have been thrown to me. I didn't want those mess, i didn't want to claim them, it is, afterall, mess that no one would actually want.

Just some breathing space and encouragement, that's all i asked for. There is no point comparing who is at the worst situation, such comparison will never ever end, neither will it differentiate the winner out of the rounds of comparison. Let me be myself for a while, let me settle down all the four committments that i have, give me some time to settle, free out some breathing space for me, give me some support. If it is really hard for you to do that, at least don't send in nasty comments. I'm a human afterall, i'm made of flesh, water and blood. I have feelings too.

A rubber band when being stretched would lose its elasticity, because no matter what, for you might have a thicker or longer one, the elasticity coefficent is always a constant, that is. If you try to over-stretch or give in external strong force, then i'm sory to say, the rubber band will just snapped and be left as a useless an unwanted polymeric material. I believe humans, at times of hectic and messy situations, would also tends to behav like a rubber band. Needless to say, when everyone of us is in trouble, you would like some time of your own to settle down, with all the supports of your closet, buddies and friends. Yup, i guess that was what i initially asked for. :)

Yup, there is still a long way to go and i seriously hope that i'm not alone there. I'm not asking you to be like me, maximise yourself fully till you drop, i'm just hoping that you will give me the 2 keys in friendship and 1 key in my life - understanding, support. Are these too much to ask for? :)

Hopfully one day, i will be able to get the understanding i pinned for.

So?

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Sometimes, i'm afraid that i might transform to a new breed of old self, mutated from the origin. Sometimes, i'm afraid that the true me will be eaten up by stress. Sometimes, i'm afraid that i overdo some issues for people. Sometimes, i'm worried that i might invade privacy. So who can understand how i feel actually? Haha, hard, i guess. Why? I don't even know what i'm thinking, so how would it be possible for others to know what i feel?

Plans? Enlightment? Truth? Guider?