I start to lose my true self

I'm not sure if it is me being overly sensitive or being too 'extras', i have lost my sense of direction, judgement, motivation and even my true self.

Yes, as a guy i should not care so much about the above-mentioned 'stuff'. Instead, i should care more about money, career, future and even ... girls.

But, how do i carry do that when i have lost myself recently? To be honest, i'm completely not sure what i'm doing, what i am planning to do next, my mind has lost to the few stupid theories that some other people gave and told me that they are ttue in today's society.

So am i living in a world of fairytales and dreams? Am i still so naive and stupid to think of my ideal theology? Or am i running away from the facts, which seems to be true?


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Suddenly, i think of him, my 'naive' buddy who i have parted since Sec 1, due to the both of us entering to the different colleges. I think of him because he, i'm not sure if he can see this, is like me. He shares the same ideal theology with me, same type of thinking and same perception as me. As such, i really hope he would be able to enlighten me and bring me back to the path which i used to be in. I tried to find him, called him and even writing to him, but to no avail. No one knows where he is.. I need to power to carry on.

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I've lost my path and lost my theology. When will i be able to find them back? God knows.



Regards