Accepting the facts? or Escapist?

I know i'm changing, in terms of looks, attitudes, thinking, emotion intelligence and even the way i deal with things. Deep down, i know that i'm really undergoing a drastic change, a change that is never seen before. BUt, i'm not sure if i'm changgin positively or otherwise (which is usually unwise).

What on earth have actually causing me to under such changes? I don't know, but what i know is the changes seems to be so drastic that it has completely eatne up the old me, the nerdy blur me, that is.

In my point of view, things have started to become part and parcel of my life. For instance, being bullied by people, or even to sink into unwanted s*** seems not being able to nknock me off, or to even dampen my slightest feeling. I'm not sure if this is good or not, to me, these seems to be part and parcel of life which is not even a worth to be upset about.

Many years ago (when police still wear shorts), i take studies as my whole life. The top priority would of course be studies. Weekends would be spent at home to read, memorise and practise hard for the upcoming big, internal testas and examinations. Ten year series would be my bible, notes would be my bedtime stories. Now, weekends would either be for me to chiong, if not, for me to play. Assessment books, notes would not be in my life. If there are books, it be Magazines. I really cannot imagine what would to happen when next year comes.

Some people take me a funky and havo one, fun would be the word to describe my activities. Some people might take me as an escapist. So how?

If you were to ask me how i think>> Well, life is damn bloody short, it is no use to reserve and wait for future. NOw is the future, now is the time. You want to play just play, want to chiong just go, want to do anything, just do it. There is practically nothing to be upset about bcause things would not always turn out the way we want them to be. Life is just like christmas, we would tend to get what we would expect than what we would want. So no point being upset about anything lor, whereas, we should be happy that we are still alive to do things that we desire. Call me stupid if you want. But, i'm not going to care.
I'll do what i think is okay for me, cos i dun want to regret in the end.
Ther are many regrets for me in the past, i have been sad for many things. Along these, i have overlooked all the things that i can be happy about and i can do with.


Yes, i'm stupid to think that i am contented with what i have now or what were given to me. But, i think it is worth it. Like friends, each and every individual person crossing my path would be of upmost importance to me. I can live without food, without water for some days. But, i'll die immediately if i'm without my friends. Stupid? Okay la..