CNY, sure or not?

Honestly speaking, i really have no mood to celebrate this upcoming Chinese New Year at all. It, like any other public holidays, has no special impact on me anymore. I'm really sad to feel it this way because it makes me end up having nothing to look forward at all.

My ideal Chinese New Year would be the one with parties all round the street, chinese new year songs being played everywhere and children running around with laughters and joys. But, somehow the situations and circumstances have made me not having such naive thinking anymore.

I believe it got to do with the age. After this new year, the road ahead of me will be tougher and harderto walk. I know that somehow or rather, i got to finish this road in order to go to the final destination that i wanted to land, but, i don't have the strength to carry on anymore. I'm really really very tired, mentally exhausted. Out of the sudden, i feel like giving up alot of things and even to give up hoping, which i know i should not at all. But i'm really very tired. Mentally!

So today was a fully packed schedule for me. Early in the morning to go back to my seocndary school to visit my teachers followed by returning back to my high school to call on my teachers. And immediately heading to Queenstown area to meet Ken Ken, after which join ah Bao at Peninsula and follow them to Far East Plaza. Finally coming back to Yishun to meet Fred, lin, mei, min, xiang and sumi for a reunion cum yu sheng dinner. From morning 9am to 11plus in the night. Yup, though tiring, fruitful. For at least i get to see many brothers and friends within one day. At least, it brighten up m day (thanks to all bros and frens!).

Yup, the year ahead is full of thorns and obstacles, it is going to be really hard for me to pass through. I really would need to gather all my strength to fight this battle. I think i really need to find time to take a good break, to do what i really wanted.

Tonight is really a perfect night for gazing the sky. Perhaps, i should go and take a good look...

smile!