I hate waiting game; i dislike unappreciative people

I think i had enough of waiting game, neither do i enjoy the guessing game that you had devised, be it with intention or not.

For months i tried, for months i cried, for all i did, i received nothing, not even a simple thank you and appreciation. If things are supposed to be feel by the heart or taken for granted, then i guess i'm not playing this anymore.

For months i feel the pain when you just walkd past me and yet, pretend that you never see me. I guess i shall have enough of such things and let it be. Since you like it this way, it's really really fine with me.

There are trillions of living creatures on Earth, why must it be me?

"For every action, there is a reason, For every incident, it is a learning point in life."

Is it really true? Are both the statements valid and true? If so, why my book is full of learning points and not happy and carefree life. I hate this.

So much so that i envy people who are born with a silver spoon (hey, don't get me wrong, i'm not blaming anyone here), all they need to do is to spend money and be happy with life. Any problems they faced are nothing that can pose any danger risks, neither would it be a life and death matter. Their life is full of happy moment and full of laughters, they don't have to worry about the day after tomorrow, bread and butter issues, and their future. Their dreams are there, waiting for them in the sunny nice weather. They have nothing to fear, because the major problems are all gone for good for them.

I'm not there to grumble how bad my life is, there would always be a someone out there who is even worser than me. "There would always be someone more misfortunate than you." Really? Tell me who then?

There are many many trillions of living creatures out there, but why out of so many, why me? Why me? Me sitting there alone, in dirt and dust,in deep shit and saddnes, in disillusions and disappointment, in grieve and tears, alone there, facing all these non stop nonsense taking place, one after another. I'm just a normal human being. Can't things just stop there. All the shits happening now are just really too enough for me to take it, i'm really at my peak. I'm going to burst any moment in time. I'm already drowning. I have lost the purpose in life, i have lost my battle. My hopes are just gone, my life is no longer there anymore. I'm reaching a period of learned helplessness soon. I feeling like giving up. I'm just a 20plus young adult, but why so many shits?

If you were me, i guess you might already end up in the Mental Care Institute.

If you think that simple advice like " Relax, be happy." would work. Then you might be wrong. It is out of the power to pull me back. I'm sinking.

Why me?
Why?
What is the actual purpose of life?
Why live?