I hate distance gaps and time limitation

So there she is, bestowing people with 24hours a day, inclusive of travlling, eating, sleeping, bathing and etc. No knowing that this might hurt quite some people, she still persist to do.

And there she goes, so round and allows people to make claims tht globalisation indeed bring the world closer. But, are the hearts closer too?

Suddenly, it seems to me that the hearts are tearing apart and some people seems to get out of my train. Am i hallucinating or the truth has come by just in time.

Conversations through mails are getting lesser and lesser, can't help but to thank work committment and circumstances. Wanting to do more to show my passion and care, but somehow time does not allow me to do so.

I seems to be tied down to the ground and lose the abilities to fly and soar high. Am i overly sensitive or just that the truth has come by just in time?

Is the world change and throwing me out of the naive and innocent island to be back to the cold cruel world?
Hoping this is not the truth i'm facing, if not i've got no target and aims in my life.
LoNeLY FiLLs uP all E skY, CaN't HelP bUt woNdeR whY...
LiFE caN be sO sTRangE>>>

Interesting Oath

When you are sad, i will dry your tears.
When you are scared, i will comfort your fears.
When you are worried, i will give you hope.
When you are confused, i will help you cope.
And when you are lost and can't see the light, I shall be your beacon shining ever so bright.
This is the oath that i pleage till the end.

So this is it... Sound so interesting and magically wonderful.


Problems.. Ha..
Me? Seems to be lost in the name of good future.

I'm scared that i'm crossing the line

Somehow, i really hope it is me who is thinking so much and not the other suggestion. Kind intentions are often taken as regular obligation and, in time to come, i'm really scared it might become a possession to me. So this is the moment where the heart and brain have yet to reach a same level of understanding and agreement. Words are, significantly essential here, falling short, if not, hard to describe the whole situation here. Just on this, i seems to lose my whole self in the midst of finding the line limit, in order to serve as a reminder.

In certain times, time seems to be the only factor that we often taken for granted, all the blessing and good fortune that have intentionally cross into the path are often taken for granted too. However, when misfortunate falls in place in that particular period of time, we seems to start grumbling and wacking all sorts of sentences to make the misfortunate seems pathetic and shouldn't appear in the first place. So if that's the case, how do we improve in terms of thinking?

Time is really a factor, positively and negatively! (Positive) We can get alot of things to be settled and we, some relationships got to higher peaks solely due to time. (negative) Committments keep piling up and not in any trace to be lesser in any moment, some relationships fade off, all thanks to time too. Somehow or rather, it is a powerful and essential tool for us while, at times, making us suffering for it.

When you are young, you were dying to grow up. When i'm nearer to the real world, it back me off from the idea of growing up. My world, which seems naive to many, my thinking, which appear to be wishful to some, my plans, which are labelled to be impossible by others, all are nothing now. The world is sort of cold, words are fall into the shades of uncertainties. Can i stll be as truthful as i want to be, as honest as i used to be and as crazy as i intended to be?

At times, i really craved for someone to sit beside me and listen to what i want to say, but, at times, i abolished that idea of doing that. Why? You might ask. I seriously not know where to start and how to carry on. I rather be in the maze, because once i get lost in the maze, i will just be trapped in it and nothing more than that. But, it is just so much to carry and walk along at this moment.

Yeah, i know that life is just a fom of living and we should not carry problems as if they are baggages. Sooner or later, we will just die of the burden.

All i want is just some breathing space and moments of my own in my world with someone of my kind hearing out my irrational thinking and deeply understand me. Time do not allow this to happen.

Why can't there be a place out there to let me sit in quietly?
You might be thinking that i'm crazy and incoherent at this moment.. In fact, i am. : )

Getting more and more misty day by day

First and formost, i thanked all for the concerns, encouragements and consoles that you all have gave me for the past one week, really appreciated that alot. Thank you.

But afterall, i'm still afraid to lose this bonding that has such a great impact on me. Many times, i can't help but to send out all the funny and ridiculous messages out. I don't hope for a reply at all, but just an understanding, that little bit of understanding; understand that i can't, don't want and never want to lose such bonding. I know i'm getting a little ridiculous or should i say irrational already. Parting off, it seems that spelling out the words is easier than doing out the action. But, i think this is me, perhaps, the emotionally unstable guy that really treasure the friends given to him in life, and of course, the brothers and buddies he made till now, he can remember all the brothers he has, deeply in his heart. Time is still the crucial factors that i'm so afraid and hate. If you understand what i mean.

At times, he really hopes that time will just stop at that moment in life, let everything be at its most ideal and revealing moment, let the bondings be at its strongest moment and let all he wished and prayed come true. Why can't life just stop at some moments? Like 12 Mar 2004, 27 Dec 2004, 27 Dec 2005 and 24 Feb 2006.

The pace of life is, at times, killing him slowly and quietly. Destroying the innoccent thinking and ideal times he once thought of, grabbing away many of his good times and yet still persisting to do that, and what's worst, dissolving his power to believe and praying for miracles. At times, he lost the skill to sense by heart and forced to do things by logics, where it is true that most logics are developed from history.

Lost!

At times, he felt like thrashing out all his thoughts but life seems to stop him from doing that. He has to press on for the sake of better future, where he has completely no ideas of what is being so called the better future.

At times, he felt like going around to thank people for all the things they have done to brigthen up his life. But words seems to fall short and aren't able to come out from the mouth. All he could do was to sent out the cards (ken knows) and the simple sms of thanks. It is a simple text, but holding many many gratitudes and deepest appreciation from his heart..

Life? Hahaz...

The feeling is still so weird after all

Yup, the feeling is still so weird after all, though only two days of separation. The daily routine changed so much that i cannot adapt at all. I kept missing my lunchtime, doing things headlessly. It seems that i have lost all my forms and momentum to do work. Suddenly, i feel like going back to the old work site. (It is impossible, i know)

Yeah, there is no one there to talk lame with me every morning and there is no one there to ask me out for lunch daily. Well, life has to go on like this for a month or so.. Sighed...