Haha, don't know why. The Chinese New Year Celebration for me seems to be incomplete for me. I have thought through the whole night and finally got an answer. It maybe due to loneliness. This year i'm back to single again. Well, so new year is not that packed as compared to last year. Sigh, maybe due to that i'm sad. Starts to think of her again.
Well, met her during my part-time two year ago.. (about december 2003)
She's not that pretty though, but, i clicked with her alot. Both of us love classical music, love grazing the stars and sea, love watching the sunset and sunrise, love to study, love planting, love watching shows that are meaningful, love to play tennis and badminton, love to make more friends and most importantly, love each other. She's able to make me talk and feel relax.
Most importantly, we both have the same ambition---- If can, be a teacher, if not, why not be a musician! Haha....
But, happy times din't last. She was forced to study in the US and she left me around June. We nearly break off during that time, as i don't believe in long-distance relationship and didn't want her to worry about me during her study at such a far place. (but thanks to Lawerence, i manage to keep the relationship going)
I supported her, send her off, Call her every three days, e-mail to her. Well, she did her part too. She came back monthly to spent the 24 hours with me, share her problems with me, hug me tightly. This went on till about november.
She told me that she's very busy with her schedule, she's very stress, she has no time to talk about BGR right now... Then, i told her, it's okay. Don't bother with me too much, study more important. And, i thought everything will be fine till....
December 27.
She came back to celebrate my birthday, her birthday and 1st year anniversary.
She appears to be very solemn.
And when i picked her up from the airport, she starts to tell me this...
Dear, lately i have been neglecting you, i feel very sad and guilty. I don't know what to do to make up for you. And i don't think i can make it up for you either... I have think about it for very long time... Since you are busy with your training in army and i have to brush up my studies in US and cannot divert my focus to anywhere for the next 3 years... I think we should make our lovely relatioship to a stop. I can't possess you yet neglecting you. Sorry...
Well, since she says it this way, i cannot say anything. But to hug her and say this and walk off from her without turning back..
Dear, no matter what you did or say, i just want to thank you for giving me such a nice time this one whole year. I thank you for loving me and spending your precious time with me during these few months when you are busy with your studies.. Though we'll stop our relationship from today onwards, i'll remember the time we have spent watching countless sunsets and stars, planting roses, visitng esplande and victoria concert halls, sitting at the beach and talk about everything we have and watching movies that we laugh and cry togehter. Though we can't carry on from today onwards, please rememebr that i'm always by your side. Please remember that you'll have my support and encouragement. Thank you and i shan't be your diary from today onwards.
From there, i'm back to single and to where i'm at now.... Well, missed the times with her.. But, what to do? Sigh, i don't know where and when would i be able to find such a girl again.
PS: Grace, if you are looking at this, i'm fine, don't worry about me... Study hard, any problem fell free to approach me...
