My 6 month plans

My 6 months plan will start right from now till i succeed.
Haha..

Haha, nothing better to do

Haha, nothing better to do, now at Jackson's place blogging, oops, i mean crapping.
Just manage to swallow 2 chilly crabs, half a piece of chicken and 1 x toufu and of course, beer.

Nearly KO and wanna to throw out..

Ok la, manage to enjoy the gathering, has not have sych outing since chinese new year this year.

Haha..

Now prepare to KO!!

Meaningless

Haiz..
It's me again.
Once again in this area and start to talk craps again.
Well, really don't know what to do
Literally zhuo bo-ing in the office.
Start to wonder how star fish manage to get by such hectic life.

Well, good news -> STW's bunch of xiao peng you will be posted in soon, by right on monday.
Well, the sad news -> None of them will be in my branch. Oh gosh!
Now i know how star fish felt when there wasn't anyone ebing posted into our branch.
Sad and helpless yet don't give much attention to it. It isn't my problem anyway.

Oh well, don't talk aabout army life, talk about myself.
I'm so tempted to go Jack's Place nowand then.
Really, even just to take a glance at her will makes my day so bright so bright.
Somehow or rather, i alway think that i'm not eligible enough for her, which is putting off my thoughts of chasing after her.

But, whenever i don't get to see her, i'll start to miss her again.
When i see her, my face will feel hot.
When i'm close to her, my heart will beat doubly fast, breathing will be in rapid mode.
Oh well, conclusion?

Only one more year to go, the feeling of uncertainty is getting stronger and stronger.
Humans are funny creatures on earth.
Looking forward for future yet not prepare for it.
When the future they looked for arrived, they start to panick and hope the past will come back to them.
Oh gosh!
I'm no exception as well.

Yes, i look froward for the future and receive my yellow ribbon.
But, seriously, after that, what would the next step?
Studies? Are you sure that would be the real answer?
Funny, ain't it?

Haha, i think i have crapped enough. Seems lazy to continue anymore further.
Bye!!


Sunshine and dark clouds are always around.
it is the matter of when which is to appear.
For the optimistic poeple, sun will be the dominating one,
for the pessimistic people, it will be otherwise and often unwise.
People out there, so what's yours for today??

???

Well, the three question marks up there are not there for the sake of filling up the title space.
The three questions marks represent my time management, schedule and projects at hand. All are in haywire, in complete mess and i seriously don't know where to start clearing my piles of rubbish on my table.

Have been busy very lately, i also don't know why. I only know that i seriously did not have personal time to settl my own problems for the past 2 weeks.. All problems are hanging very high up in the air.

Haiz..

Can't blame anything but my own managemnet skills!!

I feel so small, so small...

For a moment, i feel so small, so small. No matter how i explain to others why i felt this way, they seems not to get my point and my thoughts.

It is true, i feel very mintues, very insignificant and useless. It is like there is always someone out there to beat me in any thing that i'm specialised and quite good at...

I'm specialised in piano music, grade 6, and there is someone out there to thrash me in this area of performing arts. Making me feeling so useless, spending so much time and effort yet been thrash by a person who just picked this up for a year.

Then, i took up violin and cello. Sigh, soemone else plays better than i do. Scored better than me. Again, all my efforts and heartworks seems not to be paid off.

OK, i gave up performing arts. I took up sports. Learn all i can in tennis and badminton, yet loses in the matches i played in. It is not that i did not out in any effort, but it seems to me that i'm alwaysat the losing end.

Then, i told myself, well, maybe sports and arts may not be my forte, so i took up a new language. But, it is like i'm still lose out to people.

Last resort, i took back my affinity, physics. But, just causal conversation in my office to others makes me feel that i'm not cut out or qualified to call myself good at this subject.

What's worst? My general knowledge is not as good as others too..

It makes me so insignificant and so unimportant in the society. With or without me, it is feels the same. So same as before, goats still eat grass, pigs don't fly, tigers can't climb trees.

---------------------------------

I met her in Jack's place, she works there as waitress. My heart and soul seems to vanish into thin air. But, i not fit to chase after her. I seems not cut out to be a good boyfriend. Not capable in anyway (see above). What can i provide her?

Sweet-talk? I'm not able to do that.
Give her more time and attention? I'm engross with all my works and research.
Money? I'm poor man, mind you.

So this is holding me back to go for her.

But, it makes my heart pain whenever i see her, think of her.
I went back to Jack's place yesterday. She is not there.

------------------------------------------------

With or without me, the world still spins and turn. So i seems to be so insiginificant.

A thousand year from now...

I saw her...

"Sir, would you like a coffe or tea?" A sweet-sounding girl asked me during my lunchtime today.

"Tea please, thank you!" I answered and took a glanced at the girl. At that particular moment and at that particular place, my heart froze and the whole surrounding seems to quiet down out of sudden....

It's her. It's really her. After six years, i finally saw her...









BUt, at that point of time, i was not prepared for the sudden meeting. That a sudden and too a shocking...

I missed her...

Sick + run + play = tired out??

Haha, maybe because i've just recovered from my sick, my whole stamina is as lousy as an old man. Yet, i still went on running and playing hours of Basketball!!

Well, my skills in area of basketball still so bad. (so what??) haha..

Tired to continue anything liao... zzZZ

So this is what happen to me today!!

Woke up at about 5.30am. (To be honest, i was being puleed out of the bed by my father.) My dad asked me tons of questions? Have my fever gone down? Am i fit to go to work? Want to see the doctor? How's the throat? Bla bla bla.... I answered none of them. (Not because of anything, but i'm just too tired to answer any and he did not allow me to do that.)

Got ready by 6.00am. Left the house at about 6.10am and walked very slowly to workplace! (hell!)

Changed into my uniform and started my hell day! Maybe because of the stupid illness or what, i'm so tired till i felt like dozing off every now and then...

6pm. Changed back to plain clothing. Haha.. Headed to give tuition. I'm ultimately exhuasted then...

On my way to my student's home, there was thsi very noisy small fellow (a 3 years old kid) behind me on the bus. He kept on screaming here and there, i was so irritated by him. I guess because of that, i might have contracted the terminal stage of child phobia (scared of small children disease!)

9.30pm. Finally, yet another lesson of tuition. Really very tired...


So this is my day today! What's yours??

Again!!

I'm ultimately pissed off today. Thanks to my illness. Again, down with sore throat, my bloddy throat is dry, extremely irritating and ultimately painful. Since it is great singapore sale, with the sore throat, bad cough was the free gift given to me (by force). So to make me the worst person down with illness, i'm down with flu too. So i 'buy' one, got two free!!

Lazy to see the doctor. Wouldn't want to have MC now, cos i took mine last month, if i would to take MC now, people will start to sus[ect if i'm "cao-kenging". So sad!!

Suffer...

Funny

I wish
we never have to choose
either win or lose


Just managed to take a peek at the comments given to me. Well, this is all i got to say as for now..

To me, i will still remain, prefer and hope to be single, for now or even forever. Reason? At least my concentration need not to be splitted into so many aspects of life. Education and Friendship, together with Kinship maybe what i expected for and stopped. No more or less...

Call me stupid if you wanT! bUT, i have straigtened my thoughts.. No point cuddling on somthing that isn't important to me at all.

Like what i say on my Blog "Finally". Well, my time for change has finally arrived, after so many months. So let me do a complete makeover again.. This period of time, nothing will be more important than friends and studies!!

Finally..

My course finally start and i soon have no more time to go for wild thinking and all sorts of stupid nonsense that my brain always posed previously.

Time to let go of whatever that i suppose to and pick up whatever i seriously need to.

Why but it is a history.

You got to make a stand
In someoone else's land
Life can be so strange


Well, can't help but to revisit the previous chapter of my history. I know that i should not do that, but what can be done if i have already done so..

Long long ago long ago......

Erm... Stupid!

Well, life seems to be meaningless lately.. Work, Eat, Watch Tv and sleep. Work, Eat, Watch TV and sleep. Seems so routine and so rigid.

Where are the fun and excitement? Where are all of them??

Suddenly, i felt a sense of loneliness. Went around shopoing this whole afternoon, saw many couples, i mean young ones. Saw a lot of young children. My mind saw going wild and think alot.. Will i have such things in my life? Will i? I really don't know.. Sometimes, i think having children is a blessing. Sometimes, i think having children is more than blessing --> Suffrage!

As for having a girlfriend, sometimes i think it is nie to have one, at least there would be someone who would care for you when you are sick, be beside you when you are in trouble. But, more often than not, i think it is a suffrage in disguise.

Haha, i guess i have a problem here...

Am i nothing but a useless chap that is occupying a space on Earth

Lonely fills up all the sky
can't help but wonder why
you're so far away



Sometimes i just wondered, am i just a but useless chap that is occupying a space, wasting my time and youths.. A freak who is sensitive to eveything and thinks of nothing (cos brainless), who starts out everything with good intentions but end up stirring more troubles.

Ever since after my JC life, i'm being exposed to the cruel and appalling society, working society, to be exact. Being a teacher, at least i can still feel a sense of worth, for at least i'm there to enlighten, if not all, but some of the students. But, ever since i'm posted into Admin Office to do adminstraion stuffs, ie Paperworks, i've been reprimanded and lectured countless of times. At times, depression was the final product. At times, i really think that i'm so small so insignificant and useless.

Talking IT to me is equally bad as playing music to the cows. My IT knowledge stops at Microsoft Words, Excel and POwerpoint. Nothing more and maybe lesser. So, i really enyv those poeple who can actually do alot of magic to the computers, like Adobe Photo Edits, Poster Making, Movie Makings and etc.

Business then. Worst choice! I've never thought of business or even working as White-collar worker, cos i know i will never make it. Basic 8 to 5 admin office job, i've already bored to tears and screwed up eveything i did, so never get me into the rigid and routine works. I'll die!!!

Bt, think about this.. Singpore's Industries is moving towards computerisationa and more on business. Well, it means I'M OUT OF JOB!!


Friendship?? Haha, i guess i'm getting a little problems on this issue...


So, ain't I nothing but useless??

? Name?

Teasure? (If you are able to guess what i what to mean, then you are there!!)

Dreams 3

G had a long day yesterday, he only reached home at about 11pm and stayed up very late just to finish marking all the examination scripts. It was a weekend that day, so it was very natural that he would stay a bit longer in the bed.

8am, there was someone at his room door. "Hello, time to wake up. Let's go cycling today!" F knocked the door and shouted. "Hello, wake up!"

G was awoken up by the noise and approached the door.
"Can't you just let me have some rest. I only manage to enter the dreamland at about 4am this morning. Please let me sleep some more." G pleaded, he was depriving of sleep seriously.

"Nope. You promised me that all of us would have an outing today rememeber?" F replied back, "Go take a shower and i'll meet you downstairs in 20mins time."

G gave up pleading, it was completely no use pleading F. So, given no choice, he pulled himself off the bed and took a warm shower.


The sky was full of white clouds, not too glaring nor too dark. Ocassionally, there were winds blewing. Indeed, it was a good day for some outdoor activites. The sea waves weren't so great, but somehow would calm people down.

All the 6 of them were on bikes and happily (leisurely) cycling along the beachline. They started giggling and laughing.

Meaning of Shiok

Finally got to understand the meaning of tired and exhaustion.
I went for a 10km run yesterday afternoon, after a match of basketball in the morning and tennis in the early afternoon. My body was screaming for rest, but, my mind insisted on the run. The sun was pricky hot and there wasn't any breeze, even the slightest breeze. No clouds too. But that did not stop my determination of running. I ran and took about an hour to complete it...

Didn't get much sleep last night due to many committements and tasks at hand. But, that did not stop my urge to go for the run today. Maybe because too tired to go for long distance, i only ran for 6km today. Duration: 30mintues.

Well, i think i should run tomorrow...

Haha..

Ring gone = forever gone the relationship??

Sad to say, i have lost the ring she gave it to me. I couldn't remember when i received the ring nor why she gave me that ring, but, i just simply knew that i lost the ring today, when i'm down for basketball session.

Maybe it is a sign to tell me to put her in the history textbook of mine and start looking forward to future. Or maybe it is a sign to tell me that she is gone forever, no turning point or what so ever.

She is gone and will only live in the history textbook, so does the ring she gave to me....

Dreams 2

6.30am, the alarm clock rang. Lazyily, G stretched out his hand and switched off the noise polluting device. Stretched his four limbs, took a deep breathe, he got up of the bed and went straight to the toilet to wash up.

Wore his favourite blue shirt and dark brown pants, together with the pale yellow tie, he headed straight to the kitchen and whipped out a sumptuous breakfast for all. He layed the food nicely on the round expensive table and left a note - Not back for dinner, G. Then, he reached the front door and lef the house.

He drove his dark blue Volve to the college to start his brand new day of work. He is currently teaching in a top Tertiary college, as a Head of Department (Science).

"Morning, Sir!" Student often called out when they see him. He is popular amaong the student, for his patience, wonderful listening ear and friendly character. To the students, he is more than a teacher. He is a mentor, a listener for their thoughts and problem, and most importantly, a brother for all. He just received the President Teacher award last year.

"Morning children!" He often replied like this, with a great smile and a hearty hand gesture.

Ring!!! The scholl bell went off, with the piles of books at hand, he began his day in school.

6pm. The school emptied out most of her children, except for him and his bunch of students. They were all still in the study centre, doing thier last burst of revision and question and answer session. G had a long day that day, yet he still put on a smile and helped to clar all doubts.

10pm. Finally, the children finished their doubts clearing session, they left G all alone now. Feeling a little tired and restless, G when around the school. Alas, a chance for me to explore the school all alone at night. He thought.

The school sits beside a sea, that's why it is so cooling in the day. There are always breeze in the school.

11pm. G decided that it should be the time for hiim to go. He drove off his car and headed home.

--------------------
End!

How?

What is earth like a thousand years ago??

Dreams...

"Time for dinner!" C shouted as he and W laid the untesils and food on the marble-like and shiny table, which they bought for $1999.

There were many dishes on the table - Fried beancakes, stir-fried chicken with chilly, chilly crabs, butter prawns, stir fried kang kong with chilli, curry chicken and of course a soup, cabbage with carrot soup. Each dish was appealing, attractive and fragrant.

" Come everybody, crowd around the table. Eat as we chat." G added, an average-looking person, who wore a big and blue-coloured frame glases. He simply loves reading, widening his knowledges, to be exact.

W, C, G, F, J and B sat down and started gobbling. After a day's work, no wondered they ate at such a fast speed.
" Finally, i get to satisfy my hunger. My stomach has been grumbling since late morning." J announced, with deep sense of satisfaction. J was a businessman, a well-known businessman , he was the boss of many firms and factories. He was the pioneer in venturing food science in factories and economics.

" Must been skipping lately again! For goodness sake, please don't skip luch anymore," G commented, "You are already very skinny and.."

" Health is more important than wealth right? You have tell me this umpteen times already. You don't feel sick to repeat this, well, i do." J jokingly replied.

" Haha. I agree. Your speech seems to be the same every night when we all sit there." C added, as gave a funny grin as soon as he completed his say. C was the CEO for the large corperation which was left behind by his father. The company was doing perfectly well and kept on thriving.

" But, if he don't talk, then the table will be very quiet. Most importantly, he will feel very uneasy and uncomfortable!" F exclaimed, a young and inspiring pilot. He was the youngest of the whole group, yet clicked on very well. He was jovial in nature and good-looking by birth. He has a pool of admirers but yet to have a real girlfriend.

"Finally, someone backed me up!" G said. A well-known professor in the area of science. He was the one who proved that Newton's laws of motion were all but ideal, in actual fact, they couldn't be used much. He was the one who changed the learning syllabus for science in secondary school and tertiary institiutes, who instilled the long lost strict discpline back to all schools.

The dinner was great, or rather, the meals were all great and enjoyable whenever all of them eat together.

"So what's on TV today?" W asked, a young and promising man in the area of programming and Mass Media. The only interest to him was TV, games and drama series.

"You and your passion..." B added in, a science professor, same as G, but work in research industries.

They sat in the living room of thier house. The house where they bought it together, years ago when they graduated from University and started earning. It wasn't a house that simple, it was a big mansion. A mansion which has a big garden in front yard, with lilies, roses, lavendars, sunflowers and hibiscus. Adding to the big garden was a pool with a few turtles, small turtles i should say. Right between the two intineary was a small white colour-coated pavilion.

At the backyard, there was a mini soccer field and basketball court. All the 6 of them have interest in both sports and often played during their wonderful weekends.

Life was great for all the 6 of them. There's work and play and of course companions that brighten up their days.

.................................................................................

Feels so good

Sweat out a great deal of today..

Early the morning, i went for a 5km moderate run. It took me about 23mins to finish it. Slow, i should comment.
After the early morning sweat out session, i went for a quick shower and proceeded to Canteen to slack for a while.
10am, the face of my watch showed, time for me to go back and start my day. Well, bakc to the rigid and boring routinue work. Why will i leave such place? Whe will i get my yellow ribbion?
1pm, my watch tells and it was time for me to have a lunch, or i should say, a free time to slack! The cookhouse looked so empty today, as if i was the only one in camp today... So blank!!
Then once again, i went bakc to my office after a half an hour break free time...
Singing of the National Anthem, time for me to go! I rushed to my bunk, changed into PT attire and headed straight to the basketball court.
9pm, time to go home.
9.30pm, reached home and decided to go for another rund of run...
10pm, sitting in front of the computer..

Day end!!