Yup, a brand new day of a brand new year

Yeah, so today is the brand new day of a brand new year.
Received alot of blessing from alot of close buddies and bros. (Thanks, everyone!)

Yup,

will update more later

CNY, sure or not?

Honestly speaking, i really have no mood to celebrate this upcoming Chinese New Year at all. It, like any other public holidays, has no special impact on me anymore. I'm really sad to feel it this way because it makes me end up having nothing to look forward at all.

My ideal Chinese New Year would be the one with parties all round the street, chinese new year songs being played everywhere and children running around with laughters and joys. But, somehow the situations and circumstances have made me not having such naive thinking anymore.

I believe it got to do with the age. After this new year, the road ahead of me will be tougher and harderto walk. I know that somehow or rather, i got to finish this road in order to go to the final destination that i wanted to land, but, i don't have the strength to carry on anymore. I'm really really very tired, mentally exhausted. Out of the sudden, i feel like giving up alot of things and even to give up hoping, which i know i should not at all. But i'm really very tired. Mentally!

So today was a fully packed schedule for me. Early in the morning to go back to my seocndary school to visit my teachers followed by returning back to my high school to call on my teachers. And immediately heading to Queenstown area to meet Ken Ken, after which join ah Bao at Peninsula and follow them to Far East Plaza. Finally coming back to Yishun to meet Fred, lin, mei, min, xiang and sumi for a reunion cum yu sheng dinner. From morning 9am to 11plus in the night. Yup, though tiring, fruitful. For at least i get to see many brothers and friends within one day. At least, it brighten up m day (thanks to all bros and frens!).

Yup, the year ahead is full of thorns and obstacles, it is going to be really hard for me to pass through. I really would need to gather all my strength to fight this battle. I think i really need to find time to take a good break, to do what i really wanted.

Tonight is really a perfect night for gazing the sky. Perhaps, i should go and take a good look...

smile!

The way people phrase their words

Sometimes,it is a little irony to find people disliking each other, even to the extent of hating, due to the way people phrase their words and the way they express their thoughts. (I'm not here to say anything about abyone, but i observe something that is weird and funny in many poeple, be it the way they react to speech and the way they phrase their thoughts.)

Yup, i do agree that everyone is free to say something he likes, we're in a very libreal society. But, how often would we stop by and think through what we are going to say, or even to do some analysis on our speech. Yes, freedom of speech is what many poeple believe in. But put yourself in the shoe of the receiver. Would you feel good upon receving something that you don't expect. Or would you be happy to receive negative comments on your positive and harmless intention? I'm not here to say that people should be petty about what others say, but it does not give any sense of goodness or it does not feel pleasant to be insult or snapped back negatively when the initial intention was harmless and out of good will. So why 'cooking' up such nonsensical and ridiculous comments or feedbacks? Does it feel good if you are the receiving end?

Like what i say, i'm NOT HERE to comment anyone on anything, cos me, at times, may also be the culprit for this act. Yup, perhaps, some might agrue that if the receiving party is not happy bout it, then just get lost. Ok, then maybe sooner or later, you might find that the population of friends around you would decrease abruptly. Why? You know the answer better than anyone.
So, please, we are not to control the freedom of speech, no one can. But, it does not mean you can use it without considering how others would feel.

So ya, this is what i feel and believe that we have a oong way to good to acheive a more gracious and understading community.

Living in a Grateful World

Well, my Dad gave me a chart with the above-mentioned title. I find the content to be quite useful (personally, i agree with what is written on top, though these are the buddha's saying.)

(1) Be grateful to those who have hurt ot harmed you, for they have reinforced your determinations.

(2) Be grateful to those who have deceived you, for they have deepened your insights.

(3) Be grateful to those who have hit you, for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

(4) Be grateful to those who have abandoned you, for they have taught you to be independent.

(5) Be grateful to those who have made you stumble, for they have strengthened your ability.

(6) Be grateful to those who have denounced you, for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

(7) Be grateful to those who have made you firm and resolute and helped in your achievement.


(My deepest apologies to those who find this irritating or disturbing, for my intention was to share out what i have learnt and think is good to share out. )

Perhaps, it is the time to look forward and instead on harping on now

Yup, perhaps it may be my fault to keep on harping on now instead of looking forward. And that may be most probably why i'm feeling both emotionally and physically exhaustion. For the physically part? Well, i have been copped up with too many sprogrammes and nearly lost track of the time, partly due to the upcoming festive season and also due to too may tuition commitments. Emotionally? Well, i kept on harping on the what i have and scared that i might lose them. Well, a friend of mine told me this before... "Don't keep on holding on, what's yours will be yours ultimately!" Perhaps, i should recite that daily.

So i managed to join Edmund, Xiang, Min and Sumi for the moive last Friday, after a hectic exercise - The memoirs of a Geisha. That movie is interesting, for at least the whole show is realistic and nothing too extreme (We do not become Geishas to pursue our own destiny, we become Geishas becasue we hav no choice! Haha). But, i'm not in the right frame of mind to watch that on that day, cos i was too exhausted and my brain refused to process what it has been loaded with.. So after the movie, managed to have quite a long hearty chat with Ed. (Thanks, bro.)

So Chinese New Year is really round the corner. Have you bought your clothes yet? Well, finally i bought mine yesterday, after a long and hectic shopping trip at Queensway. And Chinatown, i can't help but to go chinatown.. Hahaz.. So i managed to settle down alot of things like sending out of greeting cards, buying of new clothes, stocking up of new year goods and putting aside the red packets to give out.. Finally!

Life ar.. Will still be a tough as it was, i guess. But, i think perspectives should be made change soon..

Yup!
Smile!

If this is the moment, so be it

Yup, i know i'm a little moody lately, maybe due my tight and busy schedule lately, and the pressure that i'm in for these few weeks. At here, i would like to apologize to anyone whom i have been nasty to, sorry!

So i still have the weird feeling that i mentioned about in my last post. I actually cannot do anything to it. Perhaps i should really go for a full relaxation break this saturday!
So busy, will say more when i am free to do that!!

Weird Weird

So i got a message from a friend of mine in the middle of last night, and i cannot believe that i'm so happy about it. Till now, i'm still happy for that message sent. Yup, i sound stupid, but i don't care.

People have been excited about this upcoming chinese new year. My good buddy, Ken, has bought in a can of pineapple tarts to share (thanks, ken ken!!) and talk excitedly about the new year. OK, i must admit that i'm either lazy or too busy to do new year shopping or whatsoever. But somehow, i got this stupid weird feeling in me, that makes me dread about celebrating new year this year. Yes, i know after this new year, my days are numbered and will be freed pretty soon. However, i have this stupid sense of feelings that it is hard to explain, but it is a bad omen. Haiz..

So hard to describe...
I have this feeling that i might part or break off or lose someone or somthing that is of utmost importance to me. Stupid feeling>>>

Anyway.. Yup..

I think i will end here. Got to burn midnight oil already!

A mental relaxation period

As i have mentioned in my previous few posts - i would probably need a break be it physical or mental. So, i managed to have one last night.

Once again, i went Double O last night ( i sound bad and naughty, be i believe this is one of the few miserable ways that i could think of. For if i wanna to play tennis to vetn out all the stress, i would nee to book a court, ask a few good buddies along. But, i'm only free at night daily. Then if i want to go for a bowl or so, i would need to move my lazy butt out of Yishun and go YCK {One of cheapest alley}.)

Maybe due to me went there for qutie a few time already, so i wasn't enjoying that much last night. The music wasn't as exciting as other nights, i think. But, afterall, i still managed to let my hair down and have some fun.

For the past week, i'm actually not unerstanding what the heck i was doing at all. There was no rational behind the things i did, or i should say, i'm actually not knowing what i'm doing at all. Busy. I only managed to bring my exhausted body back home at 10plus every night. And started burning midnight oil till 1am and turn in. Follow by dragging my tired ass out of the house at 6am in the morning. Suddenly, it seems so dull so dull.

Talking about dull, my good buddy cum bunkmate told me that he found life to be a little dull, as he discovered that most people have tried making senseless and commitment-less comments at times. People are not honest in some ways and not true to each other at some instant, which i must say i sort of agree to it. Sad, yet true to many. Well, cannot push the blames to anyone, but to the way we are brought up, the social values we are inculcate with and the influence of medias, perhaps. (There is no right or wring here. So there is no point agrueing with me till your face turn green.) And humans tends to protect themselves nautrally, so they would tend to conceal themselves. : (

I think i'm turning old. Too old to be involved in many things that i used to be in, to understand the thinking of many youngster(informal) lately. So how i don't understand the goodness of being a punk or hooligan. What is so good to go round and act as =one of those jail-bird wanna-be. Can't the children of these days spare a thought for themselves, if not for their parents. Simply don't quite get the rational behind their stupidity.

So just two weeks or so, Chinese New Year will come and the period of the joyous season will start. So that is it. But... I have yet to do a lot things. Like buying of new clothes and even sending out if greeting cards (so what the heck am i doing lately??). Oh dear...

Yes, i think i'm tired once again. Old can be the word to answer the question WHY!
Pray hard..
Somehow, i feel like seeing a couple of good buddies and the new friend at this moment. Weird feeling and thinking, i tell you why. But, perhaps next time..

So today is a wonderful day after all, for i managed to go for a run an hour ago. Though the stamina has drop, i'm still so satisfied for i managed to go for run.. Well, the feeling is once again that great (my buddy would know why..)

Anyway, so i think i would end today's post like this..
But i would like to post a question to each and every other who would stop by here and read..
How would you describe yourself and the way of your living now? Are you happy with what you are doing now? Funny question, i believe. Hard to answer, i guess. : )

Whatever it is, stay affirm to your own thinking

Finally, i got to sweat out last night with 1 hour of balling. Though the duration of sweat out is pretty short, do considerthat for the past few days the rain has not stop for even a second except last night.

Yup, good news was heard since last night saturday night time, but somehow or rather the newly-together couple seems to met with a small small hiccups. Like what i say, the basic thing for the relationship is still afterall honesty, patience and understanding. YOu, afterall, got to stay affirm and keep on believing that you will get happiness from this relationship. There would be miracles when you believe and you got to believe. Sometimes, hiccups would happen. BUt, you got to stay affirm to your own decisions. Prove to the people that your decision is correct but making the relationship blossom, and not feeling sad when there are setbacks. No Point!



Somehow, i have a weird feeling lately. But, there is no words to describe this weird feeling. Somehow, i feel like taking a break from this busy and pointless routine work. Yup, i think my battery is going flat. I need some recharging...

For the past few weeks, i have been elated for making a new friend, and till now i'm still so happy that he still remember who the fish i was. I sound stupid, ain't I? BUt, i think this is the only thing that can brighten up my days now.

Somehow or rather, i need a break>>>

Why?

Rainy days are thought to be nice. As it is cooling and it is ideal for sleeping. BUt, i hate it when it rain for the past three days.. I cannot go for my run and let alone a simple game of tennis...

So why it is raining almost every single day?

According to the geography knowledge i once possessed, it cannot be a monsoon rain. NOw is the time where the northern hemisphere gets a little hotter than the southern hemisphere. Winds are orignated from the Northern Hemisphere. Hence, we should not be able to get much rin from monsoon winds. Conventional Rain? I thought this kind of rain only happen in late afternoon?

So what is it actually?

And why must it rain for the whole day long?

I cannot go running at all....

Haiz...

I'll get fat if things goes on life this.

So i'm still waiting..

You know what?
I still cannot help but to be still happy.
What is there happy about??
Hahaz..
Well, i made a new friend. (Still remember my birthday?)
Well, for the past three birthdays of mine (including last year), i have many many surprizes..
In Year 2003, i met her.
IN Year 2004, i celebrate my birthday and 1st yr anniversary.
In Year 2005, i made a new friend and had a wonderful and funky birthday celebration in my workplace.

Well, i certainly hope that this good spirit will goes on till the rivers end.
Now what?
I'm waiting.
Waiting.

Today makes my blog's 200th entries celebration. Well, as the time pass, i've got to realise that this blog is goona to be more and more dull.
There are nothing more i look forward to when i'm quite content with what i have now.
There are nothing more for me to complain when i know that my time has come and my yello ribbon is within reach.
There are nothing to cry about when there is no reason to do that anymore.


i may be sad, but, it won't last long.
Hopefully, i will grow, grow to be a person who is stronger and who is like seagull, who will see far and fly high.

Life starts to be back to normal conditions. Routine, but i know it will not last for long. For at least just 5 more months. My time has come for me and i reall appreciate it..

Yup, still waiting.
I know this is a little aimless but i have to wait.

I wanna to be transparent and hope to be as transparent as i can be.
I'm hopeful.

changing of address

Dear all,

Please be informed that http://red8dragonfly5.blogspot.com will no longer be in serivce by the end of 31 January 2006.
For more information, pls stay tune...

Waiting

The feeling of waiting is so disgusting.
There are so many things that i have to wait from Monday till Today.. How long more am i going to wait? Can anyone tell me?

Maybe i'm over-contented with my life as for now that i tends to take things for granted. Or maybe due to the freed up time spcae that i have and the 'funny' understudy that was posted in, i find myself in more deep shit that ever. My "term of contract' with the largest organisation in my country is going to end in just 5 months time, but i still don't see the time for me to slack. People still keep calling out my name as if i'm the personal assistance to them, or the secretary. What makes the situation more stressed up? My wonderful understudy trying to tell me to do work instead of the other way round. (Ok, i won't mind if he is overly busy and dedicated work to me, but, come on la, he is so free sitting in one corner. Pushing all the work to me with the excuse "You would know better than me cos you are the PA." I won't mind if he is new to the job or whatsoever shit. BUt, even answering phonecall is tough for him too? Calling to liase with people also a tough task to handle too?)

My "master" (Grand Master Twung) told me once that it will be good to have someone of same rank as you so as you don't need to take care of him much. Erm.. (Sorry!) I beg to difer now. I seems to kanna even more arrows than beofre. He is taking the excuse "I don't know, he never tell me before.", "I am the same rank as you, so you cannot control over me." Come on, i am not, will not and never want to do that. For what?

The most fortunate thing out of these series of misfortunes is that my boss know that i'm drowning of work that she cannot take it she blasted my understudy today. (Sounds evil, but at least she did managed to help tp free up my workload. Newbirds are getting more and more out of hand lately. All the seniors made the same conclusion.)



Haiz...
Yup, i know i cannot comment or even to criticize people, but, i simply cannot take it. Please let me grumble a little, if not i will die of frustration. Haiz..


This week has just passed wihout me realising that.
Good, i'm still waiting for his reply.

I'm actually contridicting myself now

Yup, knowing that i may be posted out by the end of Feb or Early Mar makes me so sad. I will miss all sorts of fun i have currently in my current office. I will not be able to say:" Good Morning, xiao peng you!", i will not be able to go around cracking all sorts of unexpected jokes, i will not be able to lame with my closet buddy every morning before we start work, i will not be able to crack jokes during lunch time with my usual kakis, i will not be able to have all sorts of fun i have as of now..

I'm really sad, my closet buddy know that i'm sad too. He is sad too.
What can i do?

BUt, i can't wait to move over, for at least my worklaod will be freed and i will have more time..

Haiz...

----------------------

I'm trying to change (for better or in the negative direction).
I want to be as transparent as i can be in terms of emotional feelings and mental thinking.
Yup, it may sound stupid. BUt.. I think it is worth it.. My heart and logics told me to do that now>>>

What makes a guy?

I think this should be left blank...

So it is a brand new year after all

Yup, just managed to settle down after the Chalet Party from 30 Dec 05 to 01 Jan 06. I could only say that the chalet is a little successful. Some things actually went smotthly and turn out the way i want it to be.

Like what i told one of my friend in the middle of the night during the 2nd night of the chalet - this year would be a really brand new year for me. Not only is it a year where i will resume my stuides and start working hard for my future, it will also be a year where i start to do things the way i want it to be.

So i really look forward to this year..